-Coffee? -Nah, can’t drink coffee, doctors says it’s no good for me. Blood pressure’s too high… I’ll just take a pack of Marlboro.

I appreciate this sidewalk’s sense of humor.

Riiiiight… So I get home at 4am from hangin with some apple peeps, slightly drunk, and turn on HBO in my hotel. Some movie is on and I missed the very beginning, but was sucked in right away. Not the typical movie, “Funny Games” was kinda gripping, odd (I like odd), and def had some interesting plot points. With a few exceptions, it seemed a pretty good psychological thriller, in that it’s not a gore fest, but is still scary/riveting. Then the remote control scene… someone please tell me WHY THE FUCK A CHARACTER PICKS UP A REMOTE, REWINDS THE FILM, AND CHANGES WHAT HAPPENS?!… Now, I enjoy weird films, even ones that lack a ‘plot’ (I  Huckabees anyobe?) but why, in a decent psychological thriller that was going just fine, does the movie completely throw away any sense of continuity and plot? It was one thing when the character looked into the camera and asked me (audience) questions, such as “What about you? Do YOU want the ending to have a plot?” But it was another thing altogether when she shot the one guy and the other just rewound the movie and stopped her. The only attempt to justify this was a half baked mention that makes one think that the killers are aware that they are in a film, but this has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT (or lack thereof). I am pretty much the audience for that kinda weird shit, but this just left me like WTF?! Oh, you were being artsy? WELL WOOPEE FUCKING DOO, congrats on slipping those stupid fucking scenes into a movie that THE REST OF THE PLOT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH!

Goodbye beard. It was sweet while it lasted, but the world is imperfect, and it just wouldn’t work out. Don’t worry, when I get all strung out on life and have no1 else, I’ll come back to you. Just like I always do.

 B

I, too, am against the cross-breeding of lions and elephants.