May 2012
1 post
The Pious Roar
The pious roar subsides.
Focus turns. A pinhole. A lens.
A peeping glimpse on the whole thing.
The quiet solitude of one’s inner self. The mind falls at ease, like a boxer in the corner between rounds, and the fury of the tornado receeds to bucolic blades of grass. The tumult of audio traffic becomes the sound of sound, the rhythmic beating of one’s heart. Selflessness, outer being....
November 2011
1 post
1 tag
Found this in an old notebook:
Eyes blur
Shadeless tones of grey
Descend on loving roses
Petals weep
And so do we
For flowers falling over
Do so with such dignity
While we bend and crack
And bleed
Beholden to the last grain
Slaves to fortune
Fists clenched
Around our favorite faded memory
September 2011
8 posts
1 tag
One more thing...
Perhaps one mote post on Tumblr is called for. This whole situation is merely an allusion. An upaya, tricking me into a deeper learning, a deeper understanding. Giving me something worth holding onto, thank god.
There is need for one more post. To not end on a sour note. To see closure, to let go. To show how hideously beautiful this world can be, and why I can’t look away.
It may take...
1 tag
It's been real…
Yes. I think it may be time to move on. Soon I’ll delete the content from this Tumblr, and have a more dedicated venue. Then this will be relegated back to standard social media affair. Most of this is meant to be somewhat anonymous anyway.
I’ll be out there, waiting, wanting, wishing. Living and dying. Hoping and dreaming. Crying in forlorn despair one minute, wrestling life by the...
I have so much anger, and no outlet. This is effecting everyone. I feel like I’m dishing out my pain, unintentionally, in small doses to everyone I know. I just can’t let go, and have no release valve anymore. And every time someone says “are you ok?” I want to fucking scream. I don’t think I can pretend any harder, and nobody is buying it anyway.
I think this is...
1 tag
The Second Coming
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at...
1 tag
Floaties
This thing has a tidal motion, ebbing in and out. An undertow. I know you can swim, but from where I am it’s a long way to shore, and the waters that feel so warm when when you dip your toes in, are cold and filled with sharks not far below the surface. Whatever you do, wear some floaties.
2 tags
Levers
We all struggle, don’t we. We all stare at the same sky, looking as if the clouds are rushing by when it is us who spin. Turning in the widening gyre, the falcon sees us as we are. Specs on the glass of time, racing by and out of sight, smaller and smaller as we go. Waiting for the brush of time to paint over us.
All the machinery in the world could not alter our fate, no lever could pry...
2 tags
My computer.
Lately my computer has been running like crap. Does anyone know how to fix it?
My processes are all crossed. I feel like I’ve got too many items starting at launch every morning. Maybe if I could log in as root, I could kill those processes taking up so much CPU time, or log out a user or something. But alas, I fear this crack in my display has hindered my ability to...
2 tags
Dying, without you.
My secret hobby is posting poems and the like in anonymous places, and letting them effervesce into nothingness. But this one’s kinda long and I kinda like it, so I’ll keep it here. It was posted as a rant on CL, I took it down now. Got some real heartfelt responses. I use Icarus instead of Theonetruebrian for these things, a reference to being free, flying too high, drowning and all...
August 2011
5 posts
2 tags
Dream Reader
I cannot write a single word
You have not heard before
I cannot play the unheard chord
Bestowed by God’s great score
I can’t describe the colors,
for my colors aren’t yours
I cannot see the future, nor
tell you what’s in store
I can however read the dreams
the gods wove through our lore
and see between forgotten seams
toward that worth fighting for.
I jot them...
2 tags
Jaded
This is the poem I was going to read at the Creative Coffeehouse. Posting it here, lest it go to waste. It’s meant to be spoken, so it may lose something in the reading.
I walked away jaded
my faith so quickly faded
bubble wrapped and crated
to a place where it’s awaited
to be traded for fresh fish baited
with concentrated love so belatedly related
from a heart persuaded to...
John Dies at the End
You know it’s a good book when you’re up to the part where the hole to hell opens and the world almost ends, and a friend tells you “oh, that’s just the intro”.
1 tag
POTD: Fire in the Cave
Mesmerizing people dance
Like fire in a cave.
Figures form with soul entranced
Still spinning on the lathe
1 tag
POTD: Daemons
Being ‘good’ creates an atmosphere of trust and relaxes filters, thereby creating a vulnerable system whereby good is encouraged and enabled to do bad. It is the human condition, a double edged sword, hanging over the king’s head by a single thread: faith.
In so much as we are all good, we reap the greatest rewards. However one bad egg spoils this omlette, and small deeds...
July 2011
8 posts
God is the clothier of all things. He turns the waving stalks of matter into grass, he has guilded the lilly, and has he as surely not clothed you just as well?..
1 tag
Vampire sunlight:
Morning morning turn to day
And take these dreams of dark dismay
At night I twist and turn astray
Mourning mourning burn away
This world is a twisted zoo of ignorance. We sell our souls at a discount, and sacrifice truth for comfort, honesty for ease of passage.
1 tag
LBP: found this in a note, probably old.
It’s amazing how the forest grows
Enlightened by the sky
They seed and sow and spread their toes
As twilight muscles by.
Love needs a warrior.
2 tags
“On life’s journey
Faith is nourishment,
Virtuous deeds are a shelter,...”
– Buddha
2 tags
POTD: Burning the Past
Clockwork turns the urge that churns
The waters of my mind
The furnace follows filling urns
With dreams I’ve left behind
June 2011
8 posts
1 tag
Which is greater: forgiveness, justice, or revenge?
2 tags
On painful truths:
If those you love look in your eyes
And lie from soul to soul
And fabricate reality
To obfuscate their goal
And all you hate or ever feared
Should come to pass untold
I wish you only ignorance
For truth is rather cold.
2 tags
Today's poem:
Much of life is filled with hate,
Anger, pain, and loss.
And if you say that God is great
You’re lecturing the boss
Lately I would wipe the slate
And all that came across
Like Atlas, left to contemplate
One great, Olympic toss.
2 tags
Today's poem:
Though I cannot see the bend
Or what should lay around
I run from forces built to rend
That to which I’m bound.
I run to forces wild and free
A stallion in the fog
And to the land where love is free
To roam the stagnant bog
I grow from dirt and water lent
From deep within the stars
I carry message softly sent
Between the prison bars
I fall from heights of lofty...
1 tag
1 tag
On writing, today's poem:
Standing on the sea I dream
Of softly setting sails
To wash ashore the spoken lore
Of long forgotten tales
1 tag
Underneath the weighted boughs
Standing on the sea
I wrestle with the passion roused
By bleak eternity
May 2011
13 posts
1 tag
In the dark, I swallow the cloth of loneliness.
From “On Writing” by Steven King
1 tag
Reflection on interdependence.
Watching trees that blow in wind
Separated thoughts rescind
Back to where I ought have been
For dhukka drowns like sailor’s gin.
Dhukka:
http://tinyurl.com/42ku4zx
(Sorry, can’t embed link via iPhone app ) ((But it is apparently smart enough to make clickable ))
1 tag
Today's poem:
Twisted feelings turn my gut
Like tires spinning, stuck in rut.
On knots in ropes I thought I’d cut
Grows sturdy tree from half-crushed nut.
It’s amazing how attached I feel to something I shouldn’t feel that way about, yet the things that are supposed to be important slide off like water on a duck’s back.
When I die, the only thing that will matter are the connections I made, but while I’m alive it’s those connections that cause such suffering. If I let go, I’ll feel better. But if I let go, I...
2 tags
Lackluster, part 2
Another lackluster day, ended in an empty driveway. Heartbroken and shamed before the world, the wicked spawn of love laying waste to a field of dreams. So barren a plane to have born such fruit, it’s fate was set in stone, and no rearranging of the stars could have altered it. There is no potion so potent as to endure the afflictions of a young and fertile heart.
But my heart is young...
1 tag
Overheard at gas station
-Coffee?
-Nah, can’t drink coffee, doctors says it’s no good for me. Blood pressure’s too high… I’ll just take a pack of Marlboro.
2 tags
“I’m in the business of effing the ineffable.”
– Alan Watts
2 tags
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
– Charles Darwin
Albert Markovski, opening line to I Huckabees
Motherfucking cocksucker motherfucking shit fucker what am I doing? What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m doing the best that I can. I know that’s all I can ask of myself. Is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy is a sign, right? Because if he isn’t, than nothing...
Here I stand
Alone at last
Mirror faced
And left aghast
2 tags
The Road
Twisting winding roads that turn
Back upon themselves
Likes books that fall, as if half learned
Back upon the shelves
March 2011
3 posts
Wisdom
When you have wisdom that another person knows that they need, you give it freely. But when another person doesn’t know that they need your wisdom, you keep it to yourself.
Food only looks good to a hungry man.
From Xenocide, by Orson Scott Card
1 tag
The future is a hundred thousand threads, but the past is a fabric that may never be rewoven.
From Xenocide, by Orson Scott Card
1 tag
Does the field worker rejoice, when his master delivers the harvest?..
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Stewie Griffin Reaction Video →
Steele reacts to the 2 girl 1 cup video.
